Adorer

To stand without
Trembling knees
Is a marvel.
Where once I felt
Desperation
At its best,
Choked my senses,
Bittered my tongue,
Fouled my heart.
His touch too hard,
His heart so
Blackened by lies.
He could not feel,
Could not love,
Could not cry
With a true face.

My release came,
But serrated
I must have
Appeared.
Tear stained- yes,
Broken- yes,
But not gone.
Longing for strength
I cried out
On silent nights.
Lonliness
Took its hold.
How could I,
The wounded,
Cling to passion
Longer still?

Hope came to me,
Though it was long.
Another boy,
Another smile,
But true it was.
He was known
To my heart.
A childhood
Companion.
Forever
In my life.
Oh, how he
Warmed such days
Where the cold
Lingered close by.
Oh, the smiles
I felt appear
Upon my face.
My heart beyond
My breast and chest
No longer burned
With such an
Unfulfilled,
Growing lust.
It beat stronger,
Loved deeper.
Such a silly
Word and yet
A complex
Thing it is.
But to love now,
With every
Sweet breath I breathe,
I feel complete.
Yes- to love,
I prided
To scream it then
And scream it still.

Internally,
I have grown.
Desperation
Must take notice;
That twisted look
Of hatred
Can be seen
Within his eyes.
Oh, yes- hatred.
Because I
Stood against
His brutal ways,
Because I
Have healed since.
He can no
Longer touch me.
He can no
Longer hurt me.
He has others
Of whome he lies
And conceals from.
He breaks his own,
Suffers alone.
A constant
Wheel turning,
But bound itself
To the earth;
Never learning
How to truly
Feel.

(Okay, I'm not the best writer in the world, but here's a recent poem of this whole thing between I and another person.  I don't stick to any solid rules when I write; I'm completely freestyle.  Anyways, I'm sorry for not have posting on the day I should have, but I'm still sticking to Friday as the next blogging day.  Oh and in case you don't know french, the title above is To Love.)